Recently I've found myself asking some uncomfortable questions like, "What does success mean to me?" or "How closely is my identity tied in with Patchwork Planning?" Things that I wouldn't normally ask myself. I mean, who wants to answer them?
After three shoots in three weeks, with other days filled with meetings, answering e-mails, phone calls and other real life things, I can finally have a break. But in this downtime, I've noticed that I'm catching myself thinking, "am I doing enough? Is there something else I should be doing?" Because this break, to me, if I'm not doing anything, am I not being as successful as I am when I'm busy?
Is my busyness of my business defining who I am?
I'm bringing it back to the basics, something I need to do obviously way more often than I should. As a non-religious person, the following paragraphs might not make any sense to you. But this is my blog, and I'm being a bit personal.
My identity, my success, does not rely on Patchwork Planning. It does not rely on how happy my husband is, or how weedless my flower garden is. Who I am, needs to be a direct reflection of my faith in my Savior. As a Jesus follower, my identity, needs to find it's place in Him.
What does that look like? I think for every believer it's different. For me, right now, it looks like trust. Trusting that as long as I do my best as a planner, a wife, a friend, Jesus will make things good. Because as a human, who makes mistakes, I can only try so hard to make my business successful. To some they say "it's a little work, and a lot of luck." To me it's "I will do what I can with the gifts, talents and abilities my Creator has given me - but the rest is up to Him." My success isn't based on what I can physically do, but perhaps what He can do through my willing heart, and working hands.
So in the next few weeks, that I may not be as busy as I was, I am going to redefine my success. It might not look like securing five new bookings for 2017. Instead, it might be finding peace knowing that what I'm doing is enough. It might be renewing hope, that I'm on the right path. It might look like joy, being content no matter our finances, health, or that Dunkin's .99 iced coffees will be ending May 1st.
Thanks for reading,
Daughter of the King, wife to my best friend Evan, daughter to incredible parents, English bulldog Mom, friend to awesome people, and somewhere down the line, a wedding planner.